It's just a book.. Right?

Dear readers..

Today I would like to share with you an experience that has been life changing for me, in so many ways that I can't possibly describe it all in words. But I will start from the beginning, and hopefully be able to make some sense of it.

I used to be the outsider of society. Never had many friends, never truly accepted wherever I went, and truly invisible. I can indeed say I was like a grey mouse, always hiding and never to be seen. for years I got bullied and pestered, for what reason you may ask? I do not know. Life was always a challenge, and it wasn't always so easy to get through the day.

Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I've grown up learning gospel principles from the moment I was born. I quickly came to learn of the power of prayer and faith combined, and knew from the age of 5 that prayer truly worked. Since then I tried to understand more of the gospel, and tried my best to live accordingly to God's commandments. The knowledge that I earned during the time I grew up, turned out to be the only thing sustaining me through all those years of bullying. I knew my heavenly Father would never put me through such challenges unless it was for a reason. I knew that He was testing my faith in Him, and that He let me go through those things because it would strengthen me, and help me later on.

This turned out to be true. As I endured my struggles in faith, I grew and learned things that I would not have known if I hadn't gone through those years of pain. I learned that the Lord would always be there to listen. I knew that He would comfort me in my sorrows. I knew that He would fight my struggles with me, and hold my hand as I walked down the path that was so difficult for me to handle on my own. I came to understand that He loves me, and that He would stand by me no matter what.

When I started high school, we moved to another city. I was terrified. There was no guarantee the bullying would stop just because we moved, but I hoped with all my heart that it would. Moving turned out to be a great experience. I've come to know many new people whom have shown me love and kindness.

Though the bullying stopped, my heart was still broken. I did not believe in myself. I was insecure. I was alone. I was not capable of trusting anyone with my heart. I realized how much of me that had been lost during those years of bullying. Finally I could see that I had been hiding myself from the world in so many ways that I could hardly even see who I was myself.

So I started doing what I could to attempt finding myself again. For a year I practiced my faith in a hope that it would give me the peace I needed to heal my soul. As I did this I figured it was time for me to start reading the Book of Mormon. I had heard countless people tell me how important it was, but never really understanding why. I mean.. It was just a book.. Right?

I knew from before that I was no good at reading the scriptures. I had tried countless times to make a habit of reading a little each day, but it seemed an impossible task. I still remember the countless evenings when I would be THIS close to falling asleep, and then suddenly remembering that I had not yet read the scriptures that day. It was horrifying. Dragging myself out of bed every night just to read a few verses seemed completely pointless to me. So I stopped trying and just relied on the testimonies of my parents, who claimed the book to be true. I'm not saying I didn't believe it was true, but I couldn't say that I knew it, simply because I'd never read it.

In the summer of 2012 I got to know a young man who baffled me. He obviously had a strong testimony about the Book of Mormon. He had taken the time to read through the book, with help from his parents, even before he got baptized. (For those of you who wonder, we get baptized at the age of 8 in this church, because we believe small children to be without sin, because they don't truly understand the difference between right and wrong.) Just this fact alone was enough for me to be surprised. But that was not all. This man had read the whole book approximately 7 times! I could hardly believe it. He was only 17 years old!! I felt ashamed when I learned that on top of that, he had read the scriptures EVERY SINGLE DAY for the past 1000 days. believe me, that's hard. Though all of this was highly inspiring to me, it was not what convinced me to read the book for myself. The last day we spent together, we shared our testimonies with each other. I can still remember the sound of his voice saying, and I quote; "I love the Book of Mormon". Don't get me wrong, I've heard those words a hundred times before. What touched me so greatly with those words, was the amount of emotions displayed as he said it. I have never heard anyone say those six words with such honesty before. It touched my soul deeply. Deeply enough to make me start reading a chapter every day since then.

Now over a year have passed by since then, and I discovered something strange. I came to realize one evening as I sat alone in my room, that I had changed dramatically during this last year. I could not understand how it had happened. I feel confident today. I feel valuable. I am no longer invisible, and I am happy. Where on earth did that come from? I've always considered my life to be filled with misery, and yet now I'm happy? I could not for the life of me understand what had happened. I'm too stubborn to change easily, so I knew that something had to have had an affect on me. Something that had made me change for the better.

As I thought about when this change started, I understood that it began the day I started studying the Book of Mormon every day. It brought to mind a verse in Alma, chapter 5 verse 26: "And now behold, I say unto you, my brethren, if ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can you feel so now?"

I have truly felt this change in my heart, and I know now that the Book of Mormon truly is a book that is meant to guide us. I did not expect this book to change me. It never crossed my mind! But the truth of it have helped me become the person I wanted to be. It helped me fight my fears, become confident by the power of faith, and it helped me overcome my struggles. Beloved readers, I can finally say these beautiful simple words myself. I love the Book of Mormon. I testify with all the strength of my soul that it is true. I know that Christ truly is our savior, and that He loves us. And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ,
Amen.